No connection to the internet makes my life miserable. I just don’t know how to describe the feeling. I think I need a change in life. I have a number of things that can get myself occupy but yet I can’t stop that sad feeling drowning me. Life is like no motivation to continue at all.
I have been with this company since I graduated. Patience is the one of the reason that I am still here. I waited and waited from nothing to something, the day has finally arrive that I am able to involve in a big project. It is like sunshine after days of raining.
Another opportunity is knocking at my door, I plan to reject it because taking this one means I have to give up the current project that I am handling. This is indeed a good opportunity, they offer me a permanent position but not doing the same thing. I can do .NET.. the language that I fond in some time ago with this new position.
I just feel a little wasted if I let go this permanent position where I can enjoy the company’s benefits. I am certainly clear that if I miss this one, I might to wait for a long time to get a 2nd one.
Going to make the decision soon or actually I already had it in my mind but just haven’t officially sent the confirmation out.
Went to KL last week, I don’t think I will like KL. In KL, to get from one place to another is very far, 30 minutes drive is consider near. To me, 15 minutes is near.
Met a friend there and he said he had just been hospitalized for 1 week due to lung infection. But none of his friends know about that except his housemate who sent him to the hospital. He is someone who can make friends very easy but still admitted that KL is a boring city. If I was him, I think I also don’t want anyone know about this. It gave me the feeling that it is just another lonely soul in the giant city.
I finally realized why my cousin suddenly moved back to Ipoh after years spent in KL. She was in Penang in April and asked me to join her in KL. The news came out of a sudden that she moved back to Ipoh in June. She claimed most of her friends were coming back to Ipoh. I truly understand her feelings now.
Until today, I still couldn’t find the answer that I have been looking for since the day I stepped out of my university.
If I ever move to KL … I will just be another lonely soul in the concrete jungle. However, no one will know what the future will hold. There is still possibility that I will be there even though I don’t like KL. I really couldn’t imagine myself in the move again. I just freak to hear “moving” again.. I have so many things here.. but I can never tell the future.
I think the most important in life is work extremely hard to get what I want. Work hard and play hard. Have to be stronger and fight for what I want! Lack of inspiration in life..
Cant think of a suitable title for this entry. Just leave blank. Yesterday, was the final working day for a friend, she chose to concentrate on her master and resign from current position in Intel. I am really happy for her to be able to become a student again and leave the working world for a moment. Been in this working world for more than a year, it is not as easy as it seems to be. Sometimes, it is just too much work to be on the top, it is a lot easier to be a frivolous gal and have all the fun that I want.
I can’t be sick. Sick will only delay my job delivery and affect my performance. Tons of tasks waiting for me to settle. Big project is on the roadmap, I really feel great to be able to involve in this project, my role will be small but it is more than enough to get me busy till the end of this year. =) This is because I waited too long to handle big project, and this project really enlighten my life. Something new and something more challenging are getting me excited and motivated. Today, the air conditional in the office is killing me and I cant stand anymore, so I went home at 6 pm, if I am not sick I will be able to work longer. Wanted to clear some of the task on my table … else I will be overloaded with work ..hehe
Well, I really don’t know what should blog, mind just blank. It was already almost 6 pm and I was still waiting feedback from DBA.
I requested “hey, got any funny stuff to share?”
A : yup, I got … I keep snails at home..
ME : what u keep snail at home!! …
A : what’s the problem? I keep it inside a box …there many snails in my kitchen, so every time I found one, I will put inside the box.. they are cute!
ME : HUH.. this is crazy .. this is first time hearing ppl keeping snails. HAHA So, what do use to feed ur lovely snails?
A : Vegetables, I have a lot of vegetables at home.
Breed snails at home really freak me .. =S
Well, car’s engine couldn’t start at the basement car park. I just sent my car for car service less than 2 months ago. Luckily, I managed to get a mechanic at the nearby shop to help out. However, after examined it, he said shouldn’t hv anything wrong, ur car still new and ur mileage used only about 7000 km. The engine can start after his magic touch. Anyway, I still need to send my car for thorough checking, I don’t wish this kind of situation happen again. As a result, parked the car very far because I was late. So, this Saturday most likely I will have to spend my times on car wash, car service and MATTA Fair.
Initially, I wanted to get a burger at Mc. Donald early in the morning. I realized that Mc Donald doesn’t sell burger in the morning, they only have breakfast meal. So, I ended up buying fish which I don’t know what kind of fish it is but I am sure that I ate this kind of fish before at home :).
I really have the passion in cooking but I hate washing all those cooking utensils after cooking. I am not a good chef..HAHA.. Another thing is, I only have a rice cooker and a slow cooker. Now, how am I going to cook all those stuff that I bought? I will use the rice cooker to fry the fish and the rest of the ingredients will be used for my soup.. yummie…
Ok .. need to go work .. Today will be a working Saturday
I am in Penang while my parents are in Ipoh. There is a language gap, in Ipoh everyone speaks Cantonese while here everyone speaks Hokkien and I speak neither Hokkien nor Mandarin. Being away for 4 years from parent, I would say there are pros and cons, I will have ultimate freedom and I will become more independent when I am in Penang. I love staying with my parents, home is like a heaven where everything is well taken care. However, I refused to go back to Ipoh no matter what because once I go back to my parents I m afraid that I dont want leave Ipoh again and become dependant to my parents. Parents can’t be with me forever and in the end I still have to stand up by myself. On the other hand, my father is very supportive, I remembered he once said “As a parent, I always hope that you can always by my side but sometimes life just don’t allow, if there is a good opportunity out there even outside Malaysia, I will never stop you.”
Every time, I return to Ipoh, they still pamper me like a small kid even though I am already 24 but who cares? As long as they are happy and I am happy too for being a kid again.
Someone was complaining that I didn’t blog.. haha
Okay.. really nothing much to blog about. Life was like a mess for the past few days..i was expecting and putting too much hope on something to happen. But it just didn’t go the way I expected. In my whole life, I never did something seemed to be so ridiculous before.. I didn’t regret doing it but I have to get back to my logical thinking and stop acting stupid things. It is just a waste of effort!
When I was walking to the employee entrance I fell and broke my lips. The moment I fell, I used my tongue to touch my teeth, thankful that there was no broken tooth. Nothing really serious, just the lips kept bleeding and felt a little dizzy right after that, the nurse insisting me to lie down and go to see the doctor in his own clinic as the he wasn’t around in the company today..
Then, I went to the office, finished some important task before leaving and eventually went to see the doctor near my house. Now, I am on sick leave and have to drink with the help of the straw and I cant smile!
Lesson learnt, never try to look for anything in the hang bag while walking, watch ur steps!
Finally, we reached at the tân Son nhat international airport, there were a lot of ppl standing outside the airport and I saw a man holding a banner with my travel mate’s name, I gave him some signal that we were the persons that he was looking for, then he quickly grabbed my luggage and we followed him. To my surprise, he told us “please wait for me here, I will go to get the car” in CANTONESE. In the car, I tried to ask him more in Cantonese, but he just repeated saying in Cantonese “I don’t know.”
After approximately 20 minutes drive, we reached Chancery Saigon Hotel. We unpacked our baggage and headed to Ben Thanh Market, it is just about 20 minutes walking from the hotel. I would say this market is more to tourist kind of market, where they sell a lot of crafts, clothes and souvenirs, if you need to look for some local market, you should go to Binh Tay Market at Chinatown, price over there is quite reasonable, not many tourist goes there, and another great things besides from price is some of them can speak Cantonese pretty well, I am not going to elaborate all the destinations that I visited but generally it was really fun walking around, getting lost and finding the way back to the hotel. Moreover, language barrier was another thing that we struggled when we were lost as most of them couldn’t speak English and neither do we speak Vietnamese. I didn't even have a really details map, I only had a map that I got from the airport, and surprisingly with that map, I managed to go a lot places just by walking. I had to walk most of the time, so I ended up drenched with sweat when I reached each destination.
Conclusion, adventurous trip if u r looking for something different from ur daily life. Can say that it was an eye opening trip, you can see many ppl still live in poor condition and you might realized how you have taken so many things for granted. I traveled with another gal and managed to come back safely, we can do, u can do it too. We didn’t get mobbed by any beggar but we still had to alert with everyone at the street. Below are some of the pictures taken during the trip. Didn’t take much picture as I wasn’t in the mood in taking pictures as most of the time my clothes were soaked with my sweat! Hehe.
Sometimes, how I wish I can go back time, life is much simpler when you are just a kid. Everything was wonderful then. No worries at all. Hectic life is drowning me. This is life, whenever I feel stress out I will remind myself, you are lucky and should be grateful, look at those graduates out there, many are unemployed. In this critical moment, I still have a job even though life is boring. Setting that as a reminder will only heal the sadness for a while, it will come back again soon. How long do I have to set that as a reminder? Come on, wake up, where is the strength? Where is the fire? Where is the courage?
Btw, I am going back to my hometown this weekend to get my passport, my credit cards, my education loan… there are so many things which need my attention. It has been some time I didn’t go back due to the commitment on my friend’s project, after going through so many hurdles in this project and many my more yet to come, I begin to question myself. Am I doing the right thing, helping him and losing my carefree life…and sometimes, it is obviously affecting my work and personal life. Initially, he said the project will end on 20 March, now it is already 7 April.
I need a vacation. Will be going to Vietnam on May. Hope it will heal the depression inside me and bring back the strength…I want to roar like a tiger again!
