Wish that everything will be fine!

The Sushi of Joy

This is my 1st time making sushi, no idea how to make it but just tried to make something with the hope it can inspire me. However, it didnt manage to inspire! Quite tedious and time consuming but the result i got was a good beginning :D

When ok is not good enough..

Every morning, no matter how bad is the situation at work I will try my very best to convince myself that "nothing is easy in life, I hv to be strong". To make sure that everyday is a brand new day, I will have my warmest smile to welcome the day but the smile wont last long. All critical issues and tasks pile up in my responsibilities. There are times I wish I am a superwoman who can handle all the requests and tasks all at once superbly. I am just a small living creature struggling to survive in a large company.

Looking at those mistakes i have done and those things that should have handle it differently. I do regret on things that I did but there are still a lot of things that are out of my control.

I dont know how long I can hang on with the current situation, a very challenging situation but I guess I will still stick to here. I had make myself here hence I wont leave until I reach my goal. It is not about how much effort I put, how many meals I skipped, how much caffeine I took to stay alive in the office or how much weekends I spent in the office.. It is all about the result and it is my responsibilities to improve the current situation. By hook or by crook, everything has to be excellent!

My Raya holiday

Time flies. It was the 1st time I drove back to Ipoh. Finally, my car was on the road to its origin place since the day she left Ipoh. :D. The feeling was so great. In Ipoh, everyone drives slowly where as in Penang, everyone is always in hurry and another biggest difference is bikers in Penang are the “King of the road”. hehe ..

I never had such a long break without purpose.. it was really fun.. I shopped on the 1st day, catch up with friends on the 2nd, then baked pineapple rolls on the 3rd. Time seemed too short.. I didnt achieve much on these few days ... there are still a lot things that i planned but didnt manage to do ..

Now I am back to Penang, my dearest 2nd home. Exhausted. Tomorrow is Sunday.. I guess most likely I will need to spend my Sunday in the office.

My Creation

Raw Pineapple Rolls

The Result

~Wonderful~

The story of the weekend begins with me waiting for the arrival of special guests. I was relieved to see them arrive safely after the bus broke down. It was a wonderful weekend. This time gathering brings back those good old days memories. I really don’t know how to express it in words but it just a great feeling. Those candid pictures seems so cheerful than those stagnant n boring pictures.. I watched the recorded video, the incident seems so fresh but it is already the past. It is just so sweet and wonderful. This gathering left us physically exhausted due to lack of sleep but it is worth it to have another stamp of great footprint in our life journey.

Everyone was having fun with my guitars :D

Everything seemed so rush that day. I am so glad that they traveled to Penang to meet me because I can’t make it back to Ipoh. Well, I hate farewell moment but this is reality that everyone has to face. Good thing comes and goes.

Their comment on me, I had changed and I do admit that I did change from the past 4 years. Life experiences and environment have great impact in my life. :D

I met up a friend from KL.. a pleasant chit chat moment.

Good time passed so fast, now it is back to reality. Monday will be another battle field day again.

This was indeed a splendid weekend.

Take 2

I wonder why we always be think we are not good enough..…After certain thing happened, I wish I can turn back time and do it a better way. Perhaps, we are just normal human who make mistake. Or it is because I care too much on how people think about me.

Have been busy lately, I am glad that I have some peace to sit in front of my pc and to surf and enjoy the carefree moment. Hope to have forever Saturday. Monday, will be a rat race again.

Today, nothing much in the schedule, just have to drop by at few banks to settle credit card payment and education loan. Then, perhaps buy something for lunch or dinner, depends what time I get out to settle this.

Practise guitar is a must thing. I chose it and I have to love it :)

Palabra del Día

Learn Spanish with don Quijote

Singapore

I have been thinking and thinking this for a long very time ago. There are times when I feel like just want to go there and leave Malaysia. Words are to say, but when come to action will not be that easy anymore.

I asked myself “Does earning a little bit more but I might live in a more depressed condition worth going to Singapore?”


Now I am in Penang, there are times when I feel very very down, I just have to pack my bag and head back to ipoh and forget about doubts and problems for weekends. At least for the few days, I don’t have to think about my job, future, goals.. just sit back and enjoy the moment spent with parents.

And if I move to Singapore, then going back will not be that easy. Then where should I go? Where? Lock myself in my room and cry my heart out?

I will not move to anywhere unless I have a very sure feeling that the new environment will promise happiness to my life.

However, I might move to Singapore when suddenly I want to gamble my happiness. As people say the more you risk take, the more you will get in return.

Frankly speaking, I don’t have the courage to gamble with whatever I have now. What I have now don’t really fulfill what I am chasing for and still a very far away from here. But if I put my foot into Singapore I might lose everything that I have now. Everything..

Called me coward, stupid or whatever… those little happiness might turn into ashes with just my one step….then I will lost everything….

20 things to do in ur 20s

Read an interesting magazine’s article that I would like to share.

1) Be ur own stylish
§ Complete ur kit with a few good handbags, earrings and shoes and a stand out accessories.
(I hv few handbags, shoes but no earrings coz I don’t hv earring holes. Wonder what kind of stand out accessories that I hv..hehe)

2) Globetrot
§ Must travel to at least 3 or 4 countries foreign land just to c what life is like on the other side of Greenwich.
(I qualify 4 this one: I had visited to London, Brazil and Vietnam, wanted to travel more but traveling require $$)

3) Know ur accessories
§ By ur 20s, there r several things u should know about b4 buying a jewelry. 1st, the 4 Cs (cut, clarity, colour and carat). Next, gemstone (birthstone, anniversaries, shapes)
(Well, this is an expensive investment :P)

4) Narrow ur chum list
§ The ‘you jump, I jump’ brand of friendship wont cut it anymore from 20 onwards. As other priorities precedence in ur life, the less important friendships u hv will start to drop 1 by 1.
(I can c this is happening..)

5) Have plan B
§ U can be doing really well now, but tomorrow might not be the same anymore. Think for plan B now. Hone a skill you can trade in the event your spanking new start-up closes shop in the economic crisis.
(hmm.. I should think about my plan B now, I hv to spend more time in guitar. If economy turn down, then I can play guitar along the street in Batu Ferringhi .. hehe.. just kidding)

6) No more pity dates
§ Tell them that u r not interested gently. :P

7) Save
§ Besides ur EPF savings, you should hv a secondary retirement plan, either in the form of short term(fixed deposit) or long term(property).
(Investment is good, perhaps it is time for me to really think about this)

8) No more bitchiness
§ No bitchiness. Resolve differences by smiling and keeping an open mind – by now u should be old enough to realize that you don’t know anything.
(Never act impulsively. Try to put a smile if possible or let’s put it the other way have to smile in the appropriate situation)

9) Be man independent
§ Learn minor plumbing, hammering and nailing.
(shouldn’t be a problem 4 me)

10) Remember names
§ (I think I am disqualify this.. hehe)

11) Cook
§ No, not instant noodles.
(I can cook simple food if I want to)

12) Hv favorite wine
§ (I don’t really bother what kind of wine I drink :P)

13) Lose body art
§ (I don’t hv any, so no worries)

14) Care 4 your nails
§ Nails speak volumes about ur personal grooming (Will try my best to keep it sexy, but sometimes it’s just too difficult when I play guitar. This is the price :P )

15) Know ur music
§ (Sad to say I don’t hv any favorite type of music, I just listen to those songs that make my feel good )

16) Keep current
§ (trying my best to keep to current, sometimes just too lazy to keep myself updated)

17) Know ur government

18) Wear high heels
§ Hv at least 3 pairs of 2-inch heels
(Well, I hv only 2 pairs, do i need to add one more pair? :))

Broadband down

No connection to the internet makes my life miserable. I just don’t know how to describe the feeling. I think I need a change in life. I have a number of things that can get myself occupy but yet I can’t stop that sad feeling drowning me. Life is like no motivation to continue at all.

Opportunity never knocks your door twice

I have been with this company since I graduated. Patience is the one of the reason that I am still here. I waited and waited from nothing to something, the day has finally arrive that I am able to involve in a big project. It is like sunshine after days of raining.

Another opportunity is knocking at my door, I plan to reject it because taking this one means I have to give up the current project that I am handling. This is indeed a good opportunity, they offer me a permanent position but not doing the same thing. I can do .NET.. the language that I fond in some time ago with this new position.

I just feel a little wasted if I let go this permanent position where I can enjoy the company’s benefits. I am certainly clear that if I miss this one, I might to wait for a long time to get a 2nd one.

Going to make the decision soon or actually I already had it in my mind but just haven’t officially sent the confirmation out.

KL + Inspiration..

Went to KL last week, I don’t think I will like KL. In KL, to get from one place to another is very far, 30 minutes drive is consider near. To me, 15 minutes is near.

Met a friend there and he said he had just been hospitalized for 1 week due to lung infection. But none of his friends know about that except his housemate who sent him to the hospital. He is someone who can make friends very easy but still admitted that KL is a boring city. If I was him, I think I also don’t want anyone know about this. It gave me the feeling that it is just another lonely soul in the giant city.

I finally realized why my cousin suddenly moved back to Ipoh after years spent in KL. She was in Penang in April and asked me to join her in KL. The news came out of a sudden that she moved back to Ipoh in June. She claimed most of her friends were coming back to Ipoh. I truly understand her feelings now.

Until today, I still couldn’t find the answer that I have been looking for since the day I stepped out of my university.

If I ever move to KL … I will just be another lonely soul in the concrete jungle. However, no one will know what the future will hold. There is still possibility that I will be there even though I don’t like KL. I really couldn’t imagine myself in the move again. I just freak to hear “moving” again.. I have so many things here.. but I can never tell the future.

I think the most important in life is work extremely hard to get what I want. Work hard and play hard. Have to be stronger and fight for what I want! Lack of inspiration in life..

ME

..

Cant think of a suitable title for this entry. Just leave blank. Yesterday, was the final working day for a friend, she chose to concentrate on her master and resign from current position in Intel. I am really happy for her to be able to become a student again and leave the working world for a moment. Been in this working world for more than a year, it is not as easy as it seems to be. Sometimes, it is just too much work to be on the top, it is a lot easier to be a frivolous gal and have all the fun that I want.

Oh No!

I can’t be sick. Sick will only delay my job delivery and affect my performance. Tons of tasks waiting for me to settle. Big project is on the roadmap, I really feel great to be able to involve in this project, my role will be small but it is more than enough to get me busy till the end of this year. =) This is because I waited too long to handle big project, and this project really enlighten my life. Something new and something more challenging are getting me excited and motivated. Today, the air conditional in the office is killing me and I cant stand anymore, so I went home at 6 pm, if I am not sick I will be able to work longer. Wanted to clear some of the task on my table … else I will be overloaded with work ..hehe

Everything is BROKEN!

Picking up the pieces now ..

SnAiLs

Well, I really don’t know what should blog, mind just blank. It was already almost 6 pm and I was still waiting feedback from DBA.
I requested “hey, got any funny stuff to share?”

A : yup, I got … I keep snails at home..
ME : what u keep snail at home!! …
A : what’s the problem? I keep it inside a box …there many snails in my kitchen, so every time I found one, I will put inside the box.. they are cute!
ME : HUH.. this is crazy .. this is first time hearing ppl keeping snails. HAHA So, what do use to feed ur lovely snails?
A : Vegetables, I have a lot of vegetables at home.

Breed snails at home really freak me .. =S

Friday Friday

Well, car’s engine couldn’t start at the basement car park. I just sent my car for car service less than 2 months ago. Luckily, I managed to get a mechanic at the nearby shop to help out. However, after examined it, he said shouldn’t hv anything wrong, ur car still new and ur mileage used only about 7000 km. The engine can start after his magic touch. Anyway, I still need to send my car for thorough checking, I don’t wish this kind of situation happen again. As a result, parked the car very far because I was late. So, this Saturday most likely I will have to spend my times on car wash, car service and MATTA Fair.

Fish + chicken + vege

Initially, I wanted to get a burger at Mc. Donald early in the morning. I realized that Mc Donald doesn’t sell burger in the morning, they only have breakfast meal. So, I ended up buying fish which I don’t know what kind of fish it is but I am sure that I ate this kind of fish before at home :).

I really have the passion in cooking but I hate washing all those cooking utensils after cooking. I am not a good chef..HAHA.. Another thing is, I only have a rice cooker and a slow cooker. Now, how am I going to cook all those stuff that I bought? I will use the rice cooker to fry the fish and the rest of the ingredients will be used for my soup.. yummie…
Ok .. need to go work .. Today will be a working Saturday

Staying alone vs with parents

I am in Penang while my parents are in Ipoh. There is a language gap, in Ipoh everyone speaks Cantonese while here everyone speaks Hokkien and I speak neither Hokkien nor Mandarin. Being away for 4 years from parent, I would say there are pros and cons, I will have ultimate freedom and I will become more independent when I am in Penang. I love staying with my parents, home is like a heaven where everything is well taken care. However, I refused to go back to Ipoh no matter what because once I go back to my parents I m afraid that I dont want leave Ipoh again and become dependant to my parents. Parents can’t be with me forever and in the end I still have to stand up by myself. On the other hand, my father is very supportive, I remembered he once said “As a parent, I always hope that you can always by my side but sometimes life just don’t allow, if there is a good opportunity out there even outside Malaysia, I will never stop you.”
Every time, I return to Ipoh, they still pamper me like a small kid even though I am already 24 but who cares? As long as they are happy and I am happy too for being a kid again.

Just to make someone happy..

Someone was complaining that I didn’t blog.. haha
Okay.. really nothing much to blog about. Life was like a mess for the past few days..i was expecting and putting too much hope on something to happen. But it just didn’t go the way I expected. In my whole life, I never did something seemed to be so ridiculous before.. I didn’t regret doing it but I have to get back to my logical thinking and stop acting stupid things. It is just a waste of effort!

Thankful

When I was walking to the employee entrance I fell and broke my lips. The moment I fell, I used my tongue to touch my teeth, thankful that there was no broken tooth. Nothing really serious, just the lips kept bleeding and felt a little dizzy right after that, the nurse insisting me to lie down and go to see the doctor in his own clinic as the he wasn’t around in the company today..

Then, I went to the office, finished some important task before leaving and eventually went to see the doctor near my house. Now, I am on sick leave and have to drink with the help of the straw and I cant smile!

Lesson learnt, never try to look for anything in the hang bag while walking, watch ur steps!

Vietnam

Finally, we reached at the tân Son nhat international airport, there were a lot of ppl standing outside the airport and I saw a man holding a banner with my travel mate’s name, I gave him some signal that we were the persons that he was looking for, then he quickly grabbed my luggage and we followed him. To my surprise, he told us “please wait for me here, I will go to get the car” in CANTONESE. In the car, I tried to ask him more in Cantonese, but he just repeated saying in Cantonese “I don’t know.”
After approximately 20 minutes drive, we reached Chancery Saigon Hotel. We unpacked our baggage and headed to Ben Thanh Market, it is just about 20 minutes walking from the hotel. I would say this market is more to tourist kind of market, where they sell a lot of crafts, clothes and souvenirs, if you need to look for some local market, you should go to Binh Tay Market at Chinatown, price over there is quite reasonable, not many tourist goes there, and another great things besides from price is some of them can speak Cantonese pretty well, I am not going to elaborate all the destinations that I visited but generally it was really fun walking around, getting lost and finding the way back to the hotel. Moreover, language barrier was another thing that we struggled when we were lost as most of them couldn’t speak English and neither do we speak Vietnamese. I didn't even have a really details map, I only had a map that I got from the airport, and surprisingly with that map, I managed to go a lot places just by walking. I had to walk most of the time, so I ended up drenched with sweat when I reached each destination.
Conclusion, adventurous trip if u r looking for something different from ur daily life. Can say that it was an eye opening trip, you can see many ppl still live in poor condition and you might realized how you have taken so many things for granted. I traveled with another gal and managed to come back safely, we can do, u can do it too. We didn’t get mobbed by any beggar but we still had to alert with everyone at the street. Below are some of the pictures taken during the trip. Didn’t take much picture as I wasn’t in the mood in taking pictures as most of the time my clothes were soaked with my sweat! Hehe.

1st picture taken in the hotel room

The Reunification Palace

The Notre Dame Cathedral and I

Front View of Notre Dame Cathedral

Ben Thanh Market

Statue of Ho Chi Minh

How I wish..

Sometimes, how I wish I can go back time, life is much simpler when you are just a kid. Everything was wonderful then. No worries at all. Hectic life is drowning me. This is life, whenever I feel stress out I will remind myself, you are lucky and should be grateful, look at those graduates out there, many are unemployed. In this critical moment, I still have a job even though life is boring. Setting that as a reminder will only heal the sadness for a while, it will come back again soon. How long do I have to set that as a reminder? Come on, wake up, where is the strength? Where is the fire? Where is the courage?

Btw, I am going back to my hometown this weekend to get my passport, my credit cards, my education loan… there are so many things which need my attention. It has been some time I didn’t go back due to the commitment on my friend’s project, after going through so many hurdles in this project and many my more yet to come, I begin to question myself. Am I doing the right thing, helping him and losing my carefree life…and sometimes, it is obviously affecting my work and personal life. Initially, he said the project will end on 20 March, now it is already 7 April.

I need a vacation. Will be going to Vietnam on May. Hope it will heal the depression inside me and bring back the strength…I want to roar like a tiger again!

When will it happen again?

Since tsunami hit Penang once, ppl become more alert with it. I was busy doing some coding at 12.10 am, and suddenly I felt the tremor but I just ignored it till my friend shouted “Wei, earthquake, get out!” then only I grabbed my bag and ran out of the building. Then, when everything back to normal, everyone was not in the mood to do any coding, so I went home. When I reached home, a lot ppl gathered and scattered everywhere at the ground floor, some of them looked groggy and were walking around holding some belongings. While some of them started their car’s engine, I guessed they were preparing to leave if earthquake hit.

I saw my housemates, after a few minutes, we climbed up the stairs to 9th floor. This is one of the disadvantages of staying at high building. :`( I feel so insecure staying so high. Before I slept, i put all the important documents in a bag in case of emergency that i need to run for my life.

Is Penang that bad?

This is my 4th year here in Penang. I studied here and is working in Penang currently. Seeing friends leaving Penang one by one makes me wonder and i keep asking myself with the same old question? Do i belong to Penang? Till today, i still dont have the answer. Just give me time and i will be fine but how long i need? 1 day? 1 month or 1 year. I certainly need a change. When? Soon? Time to change! NOW... not happy, not contented, y still want to stay the same?

Where is my freedom?

Been a hectic life since the day i committed myself in the part time project. I know I will have to sacrifice most of my preciuos personal time. But what can I do, friend in need of help and i dont know Java but he still wish that i can support him. At last, I agreed. Too many hurdles to go through in this project, ppl coming in n out making thing difficult. Leave whenever they wish with no commitment or feeling guilty at all. Yesterday, finally meeting the big boss behind the project. He is trying to get commitment from everyone of us. His 1st question to me "Can u commit urself to this project?" I said in a stern and steady voice: "I am helping my friend and i will only committed to my friend! " I believe that i am a little angry because i hate being treaten .. n he is trying to treaten me. N believe it or not my sentence gain admiration from others even my friend feel touch by my words. They never expect me to say something to the boss. hhehhee
I have been doing badly in my guitar. Not progressing well due to lack of practice. I cant give up i must rebuild my passion in it!!!

Viva guitarra!

Finally, decision has been made. I am not joining the Java project. I know I can learn a lot if I go for it. It is certainly a good opportunity but seriously I am just too busy to do it. I have guitar class where I really need to practise a lot. Yesterday, I played horrible still stuck at the same page for almost one month. My guitar teacher asked “So, did u practice it at home?” I did but I just don’t practise enough. I better concentrate on 1st thing 1st rather than jumping into any thing yet. That Java project is quite attractive. I can get around RM 1000 for working on this project which will only take 1.5 month. I am sure that if I take then I will lose all my personal time. Viva guitarra!

Part time outsource project

My friend requested me to help him in a part time project. This task requires Java skill and I'm not sure whether I can survive with the skill that I have. Moreover, I have to sharpen my guitar skill which require a lot of practice and time. Time constraints... Undecided! Java vs Guitar. Wish I can hv more time.

Listen and Sing Along

A cool website where u can listen and sing along but all these songs are in Japanese http://www.karaokebox.org

Chinese New Year

Chinese New Year is almost over, I am back to work. That was the longest holiday I had since the last holiday I had for my Brazil trip. There are 2 things that I missed when I was in Ipoh:-
1) Guitar
2) Car

New Year@No late nites

My car park lot rental agreement ended on the 1st January 2005, so no more late nights.. or else i will have to somewhere really far outside my apartment.. Not cool and fun at all to park so far...